How do we make this adjustment? We could practice paying attention. Whenever we find ourselves grasping or holding on to something, we could question what it is that we are holding onto. It could be a short term thing such as going to a movie, or on a date, or on a vacation. We may find ourselves looking forward to the event. Anticipating the upcoming situation. Then the situation comes and goes. Now it is in the past. We wish it could last forever. It never does. That is human. It is the way life works. Some people deal with this by always having something new to look forward to.
How do we as Zen students deal with this? We continue to return to this present moment. When on vacation, be on vacation. When at work, be at work. Never make where you want to be more important that where you are.
Isn't this nihilistic? Surely, vacation is better than work! No doubt about it. Given a choice, I would most likely be on the Big Island of Hawaii. Yet, I am sure we have all had fun moments at work and miserable moments on vacation. The point is we can't hold on to any of it. Ultimately, we see that life is a verb, not a noun. This, too, shall pass.
Does returning to this present moment, being fully present, really work to relieve suffering? Yes. In fact, this is the practice of meditation. With each breath, we come back to the present moment. Ultimately, we realize this moment is all there is. What else could there be? The past is a memory, which we continue to change. The future is an idea, a hope.
So what changes? Impermanence becomes an outmoded concept! All there is is this present moment.
I am sure this is a topic we will revisit. Here is a poem about the young me trying to hold on to a day at an amusement park.
Six FlagsWhen I was 6
I would lay awake
wondering
scared
Having been told about
Heaven and Hell
I wondered if there
were carrots in heaven
I was scared
Because if Heaven lasts forever
I was gonna get bored
When I was 11
I was upset because
Everything was always over
I would look forward to things
But they would always pass
and I couldn’t hold on to them
when I was 17
I knew, someday,
I was going to
put on a robe
put on some sandals
paste on a beard
And go sit on a mountain
until I figured it all out
when I was 27
I started
meditating
reading zen books and sutras
learning about don’t know mind
Looking back
When I was 11
I couldn’t wait to go to Six Flags
to ride the roller coasters
and water slides
It was so much fun
Funny, the things I remember most were
how delicious the 5 cent root beer was
on that hot summer day
how well I slept on the bus
during the ride home
My 11 year old mind
made the time at Six Flags
better than the time
spent elsewhere
A lesson it has taken
a long time to unlearn
